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My three reactions to SNL on Tim Tebow

2011-12-25T21:07:00.000-08:00

In case you live in a cave (or happen to be reading this after Tim Tebow's career has sunset, either sooner or later), let me catch you up on one of the biggest recent stories in sports - Tim Tebow, former University of Florida quarterback and Heisman trophy winner who helped the Gators win two national championships, is a second year player in the NFL and plays for the Denver Broncos. Despite Tim's illustrious collegiate career, most people doubted that he would have any success at the next level. Well, midway through this season he got his chance and the doubters had to eat some crow. Tim mounted an unlikely string of fourth quarter comebacks and led his team to six consecutive wins, putting his record at 7-3 as a starter.

The most interesting thing about Mr. Tebow though is that he is very open about his Christian faith. Given his recent success, this side of Tim has received inordinate amounts of attention in the media. Which brings me to my primary focus for this post - a sketch done by SNL which casts someone playing Tebow and someone playing Jesus in the Denver locker room.

This video showed up on my Facebook Newsfeed numerous times this week, as posted by many of my fellow Mormon friends. The consensus from their posts was that they viewed this publicity as positive exposure because the character of Jesus openly and without hesitation endorses Mormonism. While I, too, view this as a net positive (now), I have a slightly different take.

My first reaction fell right in line with the consensus I saw on FB - Jesus says its true! Cool! But that only lasted for a few seconds.

I realized that since the rest of the sketch was so sarcastic that the endorsement was also highly sarcastic and was, in fact, a mockery of the faith I hold dear. Needless to say, I was slightly upset at SNL for taking a potshot at my faith and a little disappointed at my friends for seemingly being oblivious to it. Later the same day though, I took on a different perspective.

I remembered that I was also annoyed at the musical that was all over the press recently, The Book of Mormon - another satirical commentary on my beliefs. After a while I came to appreciate the publicity the play was generating and the conversations it was provoking. So, in like manner, I'm now glad that SNL saw fit to take a potshot at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints - stirring up opinions certainly has a downside, but the upside of bringing these topics to the attention of those who will recognize the truth certainly makes for a favorable tradeoff.

‘Mixed-handed’? That’s what I am?

2011-12-06T22:21:00.001-08:00
I read an article today that placed me squarely in a 1% group. It was an odd sensation, it doesn’t exactly happen to me every day. With all the discussion around the “Occupy” protests of late, I associated the 1% label with this movement right away, naturally. So, I thought it would be interesting to look at some numbers, even though this has little to do with the article I read.
I just completed my MBA and started a great corporate finance job at Symantec, one of the world’s largest software firms. I live in Silicon Valley and I love my life. You could say I can relate better now than I could before to what it’s like to be the 1%. I honestly had no idea if my current education or income level would land me in a 1% group, so I wanted to find out. Well, it turns out that 9.9% of Americans have a graduate or professional degree, so my MBA doesn’t set me apart from the masses quite as much as I expected. Additionally, to be in the top 1% of income, I would have to make $344 K (as reported by the IRS in 2009) and I’m not there. Yet.
I suppose if we zoomed out to a global view I would land in the top 1% in both categories, but that doesn’t much matter because I’m a member of another 1% group: mixed-handedness. Wait, mixed-handedness? (Kind of a chore to say, but I guess it works.) You mean one of those people who do different things with each hand – sharing roles? Yep. Go ahead and say it (“weird. . .”), I’ve heard it before. Not in a hey-mom-look-at-the-creepy-carnie sort of weird, but different from what most people can relate to nevertheless. It surprises people when I tell them I’m kind of ambidextrous. Since I write and eat left-handed, I frequently get asked if I’m a lefty, to which I respond “kind of” and briefly outline that I write, eat, and shave with my left hand, but play sports, use scissors, knife, and mouse with my right. I get most confused with a serving spoon – it goes both ways. I also have memories of using scissors with my left hand as a child, but switching when I got tired of always trying to find a pair of left-handed scissors. Shooting and dribbling a basketball with my left hand and kicking a soccer ball with my left foot came fairly easy. So, while I think it’s safe to say I’m one of these mixed-handed folks, I am a bit more left-dominant in general.
Now on to what prompted this blog post in the first place. The Wall Street Journal published an article today entitled The Health Risks of Being Left-Handed. That got my attention (wouldn’t it get yours?). Good job, WSJ. I read it. Voraciously. It intrigued me to learn that 10% of people are left-handed, 1% are mixed-handed, lefties make about 10% less, 6 of the last 12 presidents were left-handed, and that lefties are more prone to undesirable conditions such as schizophrenia, dyslexia, and ADHD (what the. . .!!). Nice little roller coaster of positive and not so positive, huh? Check out this quote from near the beginning of the article: “Other recent research suggests that mixed-handedness—using different hands for daily tasks and not having a dominant one—may be even more strongly linked than left-handedness to ADHD and possibly other conditions.” Hey! Wanna ride a bike?! Squirrel!
One potential cause of the brain developing in such a way as to not be one of the standard right-handed population is extreme levels of stress during pregnancy. So what did I do? I immediately texted my mom.
Nothing too interesting or alarming came of it, but I guess I am 30 and don’t have any of these negative conditions, so I wasn’t really expecting anything to come from left field. It’s just something I had to check, y’know?
The article took an angle that these correlations and relationships can help identify and treat children as they are developing. Hopefully I’m out of the woods for landing on the “dark side” of being left-handed, but I’m sure several of my friends will quickly point out the various manifestations of these conditions in my behavior. Ha. Ha. Ha. :P
I just hope insurance companies don’t start asking about this.

30 month hiatus over!

2011-12-06T17:36:00.001-08:00
It’s been so long since I last wrote on this thing, I feel like I need to post some kind of transition statement. But it feels so awkward. . . If you’re wondering what happened, well, grad school happened. It was an intense experience and completely nuked my desire to blog. School is over now though, I’m settled in the next phase of life, and it’s time to do more than just watch college football to spend my leisure time (though it’s hardly a coincidence that the regular season ended just last weekend). Fresh look to the blog, fresh tunes to fill your ears with goodness, and I have a few posts in the works, so stay tuned. . .

Mary Jane

2009-06-06T17:13:00.003-07:00
At work a couple weeks ago, the ladies in payroll mentioned they had some candy that was available for anyone to partake of. (Yes, I know I just ended a sentence with a preposition, but I just don’t care right now :).) Apparently, the company that services their printer left a box of sugary goodness behind as a token of goodwill (or bribery). Naturally, I couldn’t turn down their gracious offer, so I proceeded to check out the selection. I must say, I was quite impressed; they had some good stuff in there – Twix, Snickers, Reese’s, etc. Well, as I was rummaging around, I happened upon this little gem:

Cool, huh?! I laughed hysterically for probably a full minute. And I definitely wasn’t thinking of Spiderman’s dame. I’m so glad the good people that manage the Necco brand of candy have a good sense of humor; they made my day.

Scrub

2009-05-18T19:42:00.002-07:00
I grew up in Seattle, so I grew up with some interesting slang words in my vocabulary. One of these words is scrub. It’s used as a noun, and is definitely not the best thing someone could use to refer to you. I don’t know how I would really define it. . . For example, if a girl is always leaching off her friends for stuff, that chica could be called a scrub. Or if a guy just didn’t take care of his appearance at all, that dude could be called a scrub. It’s rather demeaning and, thankfully, I had mostly relinquished the use of this word since high school. Until recently.

You see, there’s this cat. I think he (I have no idea what the cat’s gender is, but using “it” just seems too inhumane, even for me) somehow belongs to the neighbors upstairs, but I’m not entirely sure. This cat tries to get into my apartment any way he can. If the door is open for a moment, in he darts. When I’m walking inside I sometimes have to hurry to close the door so he can’t get his grubby little paws inside my door. I purposely have never fed nor shown any affection to him because I know that cats have a tendency to keep coming back around, expecting more and more. So I really don’t know why he singles me out. Maybe he's looking for a bromance, I dunno. Anyway, since the shameless direct approach has failed him so many times, this creature has since resorted to the shameless begging approach. He sits right outside my bedroom window and meows incessantly at all hours of the day and night. Shameless, absolutely shameless. Scrubs are also shameless. Therefore, I have come to refer to this feline as Scrub.

For the last couple months I’ve been patient with Scrub. I’ve looked at the cat with some sort of disdain (I’m a clean freak, so having an unwanted intruder in the form of a dirty cat doesn’t exactly make me all happy and junk), but I’ve come to view this whole situation as a great way for me to develop more patience. But last night the situation reached the tipping point.

Yesterday was the first hot day we’ve had in Idaho Falls so far this year, so I proceeded to keep my bedroom window open all night since my place lacks air conditioning. Well, all last night and early this morning Scrub was doing his crazy meow thing. I tried to go back to sleep, but to no avail. Sometime around 5:00 a.m. I finally closed my window. Along with the noise emanating from my oscillating fan, I was successful at blocking out Scrub’s American Idol audition. But come July, I won’t really be able to just close my window, so something has to give. And here’s where I’d like to hear from you – what do you think I should do? I have a list of ideas I came up with from some of my coworkers. Naturally, some are simply illegal and I would. . . never. . . even. . . consider. . . those. . . options. Right. Anyway, feel free to chime in!

Ideas for how I should handle Scrub:
• Talk to the neighbors I suspect own the feline (I don't have much hope for this option, seeing how having pets indoors would be a breach of the rental contract)
• BB gun
• Paintball gun
• Real gun
• Baseball bat
• Slingshot
• Bucket of water
• Super soaker
• Super soaker with some kind of homemade mace concoction
• Brick
• Call animal control
• And of course the stereotypical boot thrown while muttering some kind of impolite phrase
• Any other ideas?

Super Bowl Sunday

2009-02-01T16:40:00.002-08:00
I loath and despise Super Bowl Sunday. Today is the day during which I lose the most respect for the most people. Why? Allow me to explain. I believe that there are certain activities that are better left for days of the week other than Sunday. God created this world and everything that in it is in six days and rested on the seventh day (btw, I don’t think I’ve ever had four two-letter words in sequence before). Just as the Lord rested from His work, He has commanded (not asked politely, mind you) us to follow His pattern. You don’t have to be LDS to recognize that doctrine.

I learned for myself while I was serving a full-time mission that watching sports on Sunday simply is not the best thing for me to do. When I came home from serving in Brazil, I had a pretty tough time with that – I was raised in a home where one of the traditions was to come home from church and watch football. Even though I had had a change of heart, my family hadn’t, so I had to deal with hearing the TV in the other room all season long until I began school the following January. Naturally, my favorite team and the one I had followed all through high school, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, won the Super Bowl that season. What a great first season to start my abstinence of sports on the Sabbath. I watched a recording of the game the following week and it was okay, but it just wasn’t the same, so I haven’t followed pro football much since then.

Okay, so now you know where I’m coming from. You might be thinking that I simply condemn any and all who choose to watch the NFL. Hold up, I’m a critical person, but you gotta remember that my family is all about pro football. I’m sure most of us do things on Sunday on occasion that we know we shouldn’t. I’m definitely no exception in that regard. But there are two items that come to me when I think of why I lose respect for people I know on this day in particular: the mindset of compromise and opportunity cost.

I hear of so many compromises in connection with the Super Bowl – “It’s just one day a year, it’s not like I watch football every Sunday.” Or, “I just watch it for the commercials.” The rationale of “just once” is truly dangerous. That’s how many get addicted to drugs or alcohol. Once you knowingly let your guard down, you lose your entitlement to assistance from the Almighty and the Tempter is able to do his work. Many great people have allowed themselves to be dragged down to the depths of misery as a result of saying “just once.”

Yeah, the commercials are usually quite entertaining. But you just know that through the course of all the commercials there will be that one you didn’t really want to see, especially on a Sunday. It’s like a really good movie with just one inappropriate scene: “If they just wouldn’t have had that one scene, it would’ve been awesome!” True, but the scene was there, and you saw it. I hope you feel good about your life. You may recall the Janet Jackson wardrobe “malfunction” during the halftime show several years ago and the fallout that resulted. Who could’ve possibly seen that one coming?? Besides Ms. Jackson and Mr. Timberlake, no one. To me, it didn’t matter that it happened because I hadn’t put myself in a position where I would be affected by it. After that incident, I could tell that a lot of people had some level of regret over tuning in to the game at all. I’m glad no one who watched it expressed their displeasure too openly around me. My response likely would’ve been, “Come here, let me hit you over the head with this stupid stick.” I mean, if a white man is in Harlem at 2:00 a.m., should he be surprised when he gets mugged? Stupid stick for whitey, please. Okay, that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but the point is the same – if you put yourself in certain situations, you shouldn’t be too surprised when something unfavorable happens.

Another compromise I hear reference to is going to a Super Bowl party to be with family and friends. Being with those you love and care about is a good thing, but given the situation, is it really your best option? If you’re the host, then host a gathering that doesn’t include a sporting event. If you’re simply attending to support someone, then why are you lowering your standards? What if the Lord would have you be a teaching instrument for others through politely turning down the invitation? If you pass up that chance, it’s an opportunity lost.

Ultimately, compromises are merely excuses used to soothe the conscience. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that that’s not the best habit to form.

Opportunity cost is a wonderful concept. Defined, it is the value of the next best alternative foregone as the result of making a decision (from Wikipedia). For example, if I have two options for a Friday night – say, watch a basketball game or go on a date – and I choose to go on a date, my opportunity cost is watching the basketball game. Pertaining to the Super Bowl, the opportunity cost for someone who watches the Super Bowl is whatever they could’ve done in its place – personal study, service to others, etc. Church firesides have been held on Super Bowl Sunday several times in the last few years. For someone who is invited to such an event, missing out on it in order to watch “the big game” is disrespectful to He who has given us everything we have. The opportunity cost can be even higher in such cases, but in any case there is a cost to watching the Super Bowl. Seeing those I care about miss out on opportunities gets me down because I simply cannot look up to them as much as I could otherwise.

If you’re reading this and were among the countless millions who watched the game, that’s cool, you have your agency. I’m not in the habit of blacklisting people just because they attend a Super Bowl party. But knowing if someone attends or does not attend molds my opinion of them and I lose or gain respect for that person accordingly. And even though how much respect Matt Schultz has for someone is quite insignificant, I’d like to think that God Himself would be happier with His children if they respected His commandment to honor the Sabbath on Super Bowl Sunday.

The Schultz Family

2009-01-31T14:50:00.002-08:00
You likely already know that I’m from the Seattle area (Everett, specifically). I went home for Christmas last month, as I do every year. Over the last few years, the only time I’ve gone home has been at Christmas time. There just isn’t a whole lot going on that demands a full blown trip outside the holiday season. In fact, the last time I went home that wasn’t for Christmas was when my younger brother, Tyler, got married in September 2005. So, when I go home I can easily pick up on any changes that have occurred during the previous year. And since I’ve been in this routine for a little while now, I’ve garnered enough perspective to come to a realization of a few things. So, this blog entry has a few of my thoughts regarding my family and the Schultz dynamic, but its main purpose is to give my friends a chance to get to know my family a bit better (considering that virtually no one I regularly interact with has ever met my family).

For starters, let’s get the introductions out of the way. My parents are Don and Becky and I have three younger brothers – Bryan (26 this Sunday), Tyler (22), and Jared (20). Yes, I’m the oldest (I just turned 28, btw) and no, I don’t have any sisters (which could very well answer a lot of questions that come up about why I am who I am).

I always thought my fam was pretty normal, but I’m beginning to think otherwise. For example, my parents’ picture taking fetish is simply crazy at times. We had the missionaries over for Christmas dinner and at the end of the meal when everyone was just lounging at the dinner table my Dad busted out the camera. In and of itself, it’s cool. We only get together once a year, after all, so I can understand why he’d want to take a few pics. Except my Dad got a serious close-up of one of the missionaries. The camera was probably 16 inches from the guy’s face. Dad! Does the word “bubble” mean anything to you?! Wow. And then the next morning when I was running on the treadmill, he busted out the camera again. I wasn’t too surprised; it was my fifth day in a row using the treadmill, so I guess having a picture of me running would help typify the week. However, he again turned something fairly normal into something a little weird – he took like seven or eight shots! I just ignored him and had a serious “shaking my head in disbelief” moment in my own mind. Last year when I gave my Mom a hard time about their picture-crazy habit, she mentioned something about taking pics at my wedding. After pointing out that she was making a big assumption there (which probably wasn’t the best thing for me to do – she still sees me as her best chance for grandbabies), I voiced my concern over my own parents trying to shoot my wedding. How on earth would that work out!?! I don’t think it would, hence why I’ve already started lobbying against such a notion.

On to the hermanos. Bryan is definitely an intellectual. He earned a bachelor’s degree in physics from the University of Washington a year ago. He’s always been the artsy one in the family, drawing and writing constantly. Over the last little while though, he’s taken an interest in animal rights (which isn’t exactly uncommon in Seattle). He’s converted himself to the vegan lifestyle (and not just lukewarm vegan; he doesn’t use or eat anything made from animals at all – including butter!! No butter!?! I’m freaking out just conceptualizing the ramifications of such a decision!) and also actively participates in various protests against certain companies or practices. He wants to go into business for himself because he doesn’t want to work for “the man.” Well, I have every intention of becoming “the man,” so I hope we can reconcile all that over holiday meals and such in years to come.

Tyler, aka Scott. Scott is his middle name, but he must have had an identity crisis in high school or something (but on second thought, that’s probably fairly commonplace amongst adolescents; I was in Brazil when it all went down, so I don’t have a first person perspective). You know, Tyler is actually pretty normal. He married his high school sweetheart (Fernanda, she’s Chilean) and plays guitar in a garage band. He doesn’t have any college under his belt though and just recently decided to take up auto mechanics, so hopefully this career choice pans out for him.

Now for a few words on Jared, the baby of the family. Okay, so I think that most families have a kind of personality scale amongst the siblings – the oldest seems to be the most serious, and the youngest seems to be the most free-spirited, with varying elements of both for the siblings in between. My family fits this quite well. I’ve always been way too serious about things (though I’ve learned to loosen up quite a bit over the last couple years) and Jared has always been more care-free and just. . . Jared. The dude is high energy and a lot of fun to be around. He works in an animal research facility taking care of the animals that are being tested (I’m just waiting for Bryan to spew some sharp rhetoric one of these times we’re all together, hahaha). He works mostly with monkeys (and their cousins) and has some hilarious stories about what the monkeys do. The monkeys all have nicknames apparently and have their own personalities. If I could remember enough particulars about Jared’s stories, I’d post them on here in a heartbeat, but I think all the raucous laughter that accompanies Jared’s storytelling makes it tough to retain many details. I do have one great example of Jared’s random, free-spirited nature though. On Christmas Day, we were all waiting for him to come over for dinner, so I texted him to see what was going on. His response to me was just this: “3 Nepali Ninjas broke into our house so I had to effect all of them in Mortal Kombat or they would have invaded earth realm.” How’s that for random? I laughed soooo hard. That’s just how Jared is. We found out later that he took three of his Nepali coworkers to Jack in the Box because they had never had a hamburger before.

Here are a few other things I noticed when I was at home:
• My Dad has more electronic gadgets/toys than I do (including a bigger and nicer TV – it rocks!!)
• I clear my throat like my Dad does (that’s just a random thing to notice, but it’s there nonetheless)
• I cleaned my place in Idaho before I left for Seattle. My Mom always did this before we took off for trips and I guess I’ve adopted the same routine. I must say, it was extremely nice to come home to a clean pad and know I didn’t have to worry about cleaning for a little bit. But it was scary when I realized in Seattle that I’m becoming more and more like my parents.

This last Christmas I also noticed that most discussions with my brothers involve video games and music. Growing up, we all loved playing Goldeneye (and if you have no idea what I’m talking about, then I think you were deprived of a fun, normal childhood) and having four brothers for the four controllers for the Nintendo 64 worked out marvelously for my Mom. Tyler, Jared, and I all have Xbox 360s today. Being from Seattle, we were all inundated with the grunge/alternative music scene. I think all four of us have retained elements of interest in both of those, and I’m grateful we have something to fall back on (considering that none of my brothers actively attend Church and that’s a big part of my life that I can’t really talk about at length with any of them).

If you made it this far, I’m very impressed. I hope you had a great nap from it!

Commute from HELL

2009-01-30T18:02:00.006-08:00
Okay, so maybe that post title is a little overdramatic. But it probably got your attention, right? Anyway, you can decide for yourself momentarily how exaggerated the title is.

My commute to work is about 15 minutes and 6 miles. Nothing crazy, right? There’s still a fair amount of ice in the median lanes, but the roads weren’t too bad today, despite a daytime high of 21 degrees or so.

As I pulled out of my apartment’s parking lot, another car across the street was getting ready to turn onto the side street as well. We got there at about the same time, so I gave the other driver the hand wave. She looked straight at me, saw the gesture, and. . . shook her head! I couldn’t believe it! She shook off the hand wave! Who does that?! I laughed incredulously for a moment as I made the turn first. Anyway, that’s not exactly hellacious; I just thought it was amusing.

The next 14 minutes were rather uneventful. I was just enjoying various harmonious alternative selections from my iPod. Well, as I was closing in on my turn into the parking lot at work, I almost got T-boned! By a soccer dad in a minivan!

I was in the inside lane heading southbound on Yellowstone Highway just south of Sunnyside going around 30-35 mph. Yellowstone is a four lane highway with a center turn lane. There was a large red suburban in the outside lane that had slowed to turn onto Pederson St. and since my parking lot is just south of Pederson I had slowed so I could merge into the outside lane once the suburban had left the highway. Unfortunately, as I slowed, I was blocked quite well from the view of a white Chrysler minivan that was turning from Pederson to head north on Yellowstone. As the suburban turned, the minivan shot out onto Yellowstone, completely oblivious to my presence.

I noticed there wasn’t any oncoming traffic, so as I swerved left across the icy median, I went into the northbound inside lane to create more space. As I passed the van (the driver of which – a man, so I can’t make any sexist remarks J – was actually looking away from me to check for oncoming traffic in the northbound lanes), I honked my horn and swerved back onto my side of the highway. I then slowed down and turned into the parking lot. Naturally, everything happened very quickly. Even so, I have a perfect little two second “film” in my mind of how it all unfolded. I can even see the side of the driver’s head with his scruffy black beard.

Just last week my insurance agent called me to try to sell me accident forgiveness coverage. Since I’ve never been in an accident, let alone caused one, I didn’t see a need to pay more for that coverage. So, naturally, I turned it down. But since that phone call I’ve been more paranoid about getting in an accident (you know, suspecting that I was somehow jinxed by turning down the opportunity to pay my All State dude more dinero). And then this happened. The timing is simply uncanny.

As I pulled into the parking lot, I felt like I had just gotten off an exhilarating roller coaster ride. Is that weird? I didn’t even have road rage. That’s definitely weird. Anyway, a couple work associates saw the whole thing and as they got out of their own cars I think they were angrier about the situation than I was. One of them sits in the same area that I’m in, so word got out to everyone pretty quickly. He said this: “That wasn’t just good driving, that was amazing driving.” Thanks Nate!

Once I got to my desk, I said a little prayer of thanks. Then I texted my Mom to thank her for teaching me how to drive well. Her mom and her aunt were race car drivers in Northern California when she was younger (and when they were younger, of course). In fact, Aunt Charlene was the first woman allowed to participate in figure eight races at her hometown raceway. I’m sure you’ll use that little tidbit of info very soon in your life. Valuable indeed.

I was also immediately grateful for sports and video games. Seriously. The whole hand-eye coordination thing was huge for me this morning. And in sports, I’ve experienced the same sensation of time seeming to slow down (hence how I found time to honk as I was careening in and out of the other lanes), so it wasn’t too tough to take advantage of it. Not to mention having some exposure to pressure situations that happen in the blink of an eye.
Thankfully, my streak of no accidents continues on through today (knock on wood).

Laughing Gas

2008-11-06T21:22:00.003-08:00
I experienced laughing gas for the first time today. I made an unexpected visit to the dentist to have one of my molars crowned (apparently an old filling stopped working and my tooth chipped Tuesday night). Anyway, the dental assistant slipped the apparatus over my nose and the gas started flowing. I didn't notice anything for a few minutes, but then the dentist recommended that I breath through my nose. All it took was a few deep breaths and it was happy time!! I remember a bit of Q&A going through my head:

Q: Why am I laughing for no apparent reason?
A: I don't care!
Q: What do people say about how laughing gas makes you feel?
A: I don't care!
Q: How many brain cells am I killing off right now?
A: I don't care!

Despite the fact that my tooth was drilled on for a solid 30 minutes, I don't think I've had a more enjoyable visit to the dentist. :)

Trial & Reaction

2008-10-16T22:14:00.003-07:00
This topic has been on my mind for a little while now, and since the dreaded GMAT is behind me, it’s time for me to stop neglecting my blog.

I learned some time ago that it’s not right to wish for a trial or some form of adversity to simply disappear. Honestly, that’s one of the primary reasons we’re here after all, right? One of the most effective ways we learn is through hardship – the learning process is seemingly accelerated and in the end, if we endure well, we become better and stronger. Hence why the adage “that which does not kill me only makes me stronger” (or some derivation thereof) has a lot of truth wrapped up in it.

Then what is the right path to take? How do we get through adversity in general? Simply stated, we need to turn to the Lord for help. He will not allow any trial to befall us that He doesn’t know we already have the capacity to overcome (1 Cor. 10:13). Instead of expending energy on trying to make the situation go away, the better way is to direct our efforts to find strength from the Creator of us all.

The realization I had that prompted this blog entry is that this principle applies to dating (something I try to do on occasion; you know, being 27 and single and all). In the face of “dating adversity,” I’ve found that I often try to become numb. By desensitizing myself, I am no longer required to deal with any resentful or hurtful feelings. In essence, this is the same thing as wishing that a trial would simply disappear. However, by virtue of the numbing process, I also unintentionally close myself off to the Spirit and distance myself from the Lord. Even though I may not intend to lose the guidance of the Spirit, the end result is exactly that and I eventually find myself more alone than I ought to be – and during a time when the Lord wants to help me the most. Clearly, numbness is not the best way to deal with adversity in dating, just as avoidance is not the best way to deal with adversity in general.

I’ve found that even if I do manage to close myself off in the short term, I usually end up simply dragging out the moving on process and spreading it out over a longer period of time – a kind of procrastination to having to cope. On the other hand, I’ve also found that when I keep myself from going numb, my perspective is heightened. I cope with the situation even better than when I close myself off and hide in my own emotional bomb shelter. Naturally, the best approach I can take is to ask the Lord to help me get through the hard time and learn whatever I need to learn from the given situation.

No, all of this is definitely not easy. And yes, it requires an increase of faith each time a trial comes around. But I’m encouraged in that I’ve improved in this over time and I hope that someday I will see this clearly while I’m experiencing any kind of adversity.

Mt. Baird

2008-08-10T20:44:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I went on a hike near the Palisades Reservoir, up Little Elk Creek. I intended on summiting Mt. Baird, the highest point in the Snake River Range. I knew it was going to be a good challenge – 9 miles roundtrip with 4200 ft in elevation gain. Well, as I neared the mountain, the grade got crazy steep. I found myself using all four appendages as I scrambled up a ravine that probably had some glacier remnants just a couple weeks ago. Normally, I look at going up also as going down – I will eventually need to come back down whatever I go up – and I usually proceed conservatively. In this situation, had I remained true to my historical decision making, I would’ve stopped well short of the higher point of the mountain. Yesterday, however, I was determined to conquer Mt. Baird, so I decided I would just deal with it.

Once I reached my destination (just below the highest point of 10,025 ft – I didn’t feel like going up a vertical wall), I wondered if there was another route down a different ravine that would prove easier (a big storm had saturated the area the night before and the west side of the mountain I came up on was still very soft, so I thought trying the north side would add some great stability benefits). I was a little freaked out because I have an awkward relationship with heights. So, I said a prayer (FYI - I’m gonna get churchy in this blog). I had made a decision to try another path and asked the Lord if He would confirm that that was what I should do (D&C 9:8-9). I felt the confirmation come, so I began making my way down the north side of Mt. Baird.

Sure enough, this alternate route was much more manageable. However, about 300 yards or so down the mountain (just when I was expecting to put all the steep stuff behind me), I discovered that the entire side of the mountain I had chosen just dropped off, with no other viable route visible. So, I traversed across to try to find another way and wound up putting myself in a precarious situation – there was no other way down, and going back across to retrace my route up would’ve been ludicrous. So, I had to go straight up. Somehow, the next 100 yards of the climb were easily the most difficult of the afternoon. But it was during this stretch that I learned the most (actually, many of these lessons were simply reminders, but I’m sure you get my drift):
Fear is not faith; I had asked the Lord to help me get off the mountain safely, and I knew that that would happen. I had to do my part, though, and overcome my fear of heights so that I was able to remain focused on what I needed to do.
Prayer is real, and it works – anytime and anywhere (Alma 34:17-27). Because I prayed to and relied on the Lord, I received the peace that I needed. I also received direction, particularly the reminder that I needed to take care of myself with food and drink so that my body would function properly.
As I looked for one hold after another, I thought of two principles: cling to the Rock (Christ) and have a firm foundation. In one instance, I used what looked like a solid rock for a foothold, only to have it give out under me. Thankfully, I had both hands on a larger rock up above and was able to hoist myself up. Holding to a firm rock on the side of Mt. Baird was a very vivid reminder of the eternal principle of relying on Christ.
In some situations you need to focus on just one step at a time, but in other situations it’s critical to see the big picture. I made life more “interesting” for myself on several occasions yesterday because I neglected to balance out those two principles.
I truly feared for my life during a couple brief moments. At one particularly stressful time, the calm assurance came over me that my days are numbered and that my work on this earth isn’t done, so all would be well (D&C 122:9; Alma 14:13). I can’t describe how important it was to have that on my mind.
Sometimes the path gets harder before it gets easier. Once I reached my destination (the first time) and sat down to eat lunch, I thought that I had completed the most arduous part of my day. Yeah, I was way off. But even though I didn’t think I could do anything more difficult, I did. And because I experienced more trying circumstances, I received more schooling.
Lastly, I learned that sometimes the Lord employs unconventional teaching methods. I know that I was directed to go down the side of the mountain that ultimately proved to be a 90 minute detour (I wound up where I ate lunch and then went back down the west side of the mountain). Why the detour? It was only during that phase of my expedition that most of these principles came to me.

Looking back on it, I’m grateful for what I went through yesterday. I believe we all need significant, powerful experiences on occasion that will stay with us over time. I’m glad the Lord saw fit to send me on a detour.

Perspective

2008-07-16T18:20:00.003-07:00

The company I work for has its own fitness facility (it’s absolutely fabulous, by the way), and I try to frequent it a couple times a week. You know, just enough to try to keep my girlish figure and all. Anyway, as I was leaving the gym today (yes, I am beginning and finishing a blog in one day for the first time to date), I noticed that a friend of mine who was chatting it up with someone else outside glanced at what I was carrying: my work shoulder bag, my sports duffel, and a hanger. Wait, what was that last one? Something that aircraft are typically stored in? Of course not silly, it was merely a clothes hanger (not hangar with an “a”). On this hanger were the slacks and long-sleeved shirt I wore to work today. Well, I was not surprised that my hanger (for clothes, as stipulated above) attracted a bit of attention. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen anyone else employ the same practice of actually hanging up clothes when one gets changed to work out and leave the gym with those clothes still on the hanger. I suppose that this practice defines me quite well. As I walked across the parking lot to my car, a few more thoughts danced through my mind.

You see, I instantly see the cause and effect of not using a hanger: if I try to fit my clothes into my duffle bag, they will wrinkle quicker and I will have to wash and – here comes the really tough part – iron them sooner. Since wearing clothes that are wrinkled to a moderate degree is simply not an option, I assume that if an article of clothing gets wrinkled or gets dirty, it results in more work for me. That connection comes easily to my mind, so I do whatever I can to minimize the amount of unnecessary manual labor that occupies my time.

I’m somewhat known for being a bit of a clean freak or for being particular about things in general. I’m a detail-oriented person and I don’t mind simply doing what needs to be done, so I guess it works out pretty well; my world has a fair amount of order. Well, here’s the kicker, and it has to do with dating and relationships and such, so I just know you’ll have an opinion on it. I was told by a girl I once dated that she just couldn’t handle the pressure of me expecting her to be as clean or as planned out or as particular as I am. I was pretty frustrated by this initially, then frustration gave way to sadness. I realized she had made the assumption that I would expect her to be like me. Well, I sure hope I’m smarter than that. If anything, I need a little chaos and spontaneity in my life to balance me out. And hey, I’m well aware that if someone is messy or disorganized now, they will probably be messy and disorganized in five years or ten years. I’m also aware that it’s not right for me to expect certain changes of people, and I believe these types of traits and characteristics fall into that category.

The thought I had that really spurned this blog though was this: depending on one’s perspective, one can see a perfectionist guy as someone who will always expect the same from you and thereby cast a shadow, or as someone who will help you be better. In a relationship, you work as a team (on varying levels depending on where the relationship is, of course) and I fail to see how having someone on your team who isn’t afraid to just do things that need to be done (like cleaning) or who enjoys eating more than top ramen and cereal is a drawback to their value as a team member, even if perfectionism is inherent in his persona. It all comes down to perspective.

Dating role reversal

2008-06-03T16:45:00.001-07:00
A friend asked me to share my thoughts on girls asking guys out on dates, so here it goes.

While the traditional dating mindset dictates that a girl asking a guy out is unordinary, I think that (like most things) it is what you make of it. You know, the glass half empty/half full concept. The girl doing the asking could be viewed negatively, as if she’s desperate for a date. Or the girl could be viewed admirably as someone who is brave enough to think and act outside the box. I think a common mistake is to wrinkle up one’s nose and instantly dismiss the notion without looking at the particulars of a given situation.

That said, I have a few thoughts (guidelines if you will) on how this practice might be approached. To the girls who may consider using this tactic:

You should only go out once (as the direct result of you asking); let the guy take things from there. If you take it any further than one date, then you could be setting a poor precedent on which any foundation would be built upon (unless you have an overwhelming desire to wear the pants in the relationship and you think the dude you’re crushing on is cool with that. . .). Also, you can’t expect a second date merely because you asked the guy out. That’s a mild form of quid pro quo, and certainly is not a healthy dating principle.

To me, the role reversal is most appropriate after you shut a guy down – whether intentionally (but later have a change of heart) or unintentionally – this may be the only way to ever know if dating will ever work for you two. Once rejected, most guys will likely not consider asking you out again. Going out on a limb sucks to begin with, and having that limb chopped while you’re out there is even worse, so if the guy feels like he’s been served up a plate of rejection then he likely has a bad association with whomever played the part of server. It’s typically easier to move on to the next girl who hasn’t shut him down. So, if you don’t want the opportunity to pass you by, take initiative and throw him a bone! You may not even need to ask him out; just more attention and some flirting will often be enough. It does depend on how big the serving of rejection was though, so keep that in mind (from the guy’s perspective, the best you can).

Those are my thoughts. If you have anything to add or any follow-up questions, feel free to leave a comment!

Top Ten Albums

2008-05-22T20:52:00.002-07:00
While I listen to a wide variety of music when it comes to single tracks, my love for alternative rock shows when the discussion revolves around whole albums. These albums are all so incredibly solid all the way through; I had a really tough time deciding on the order. If you enjoy alternative and don’t own these albums, I recommend you buy them all!

1. New Found Glory – Coming Home
2. Jimmy Eat World – Chase This Light
3. Evans Blue – The Pursuit Begins When This Portrayal of Life Ends
4. Saosin – Saosin
5. Evanescence – Fallen
6. The Killers – Sam’s Town
7. The All-American Rejects – Move Along
8. Evans Blue – The Melody and the Energetic Nature of Volume
9. Sum 41 – Chuck
10. Linkin Park – Meteora

Honorable Mention
Incubus – Morning View
Pinback – Summer in Abaddon
Brand New – Deja Entendu
Linkin Park – Hybrid Theory
Teddybears – Soft Machine

Cliques

2008-05-04T14:23:00.001-07:00
For the record, yes, that is the correct spelling of what sounds like “clicks.” It’s a French word (big surprise) with its origins in the early 1700’s. Hooray for useless information!

Webster’s defines clique as “a narrow circle of persons associated by common interests or for the accomplishment of a common purpose; -- generally used in a bad sense.” I think of a clique as any group of friends that hangs out with the same three or five or whatever number of people. The pattern is consistent and little effort is made to include others.

Cliques, despite the bad connotation that Webster’s cites, do provide some legitimate benefits. It’s great to have good friends. It’s also great to have people to do things with. A clique can provide both of these. Having a tight group provides some sense of security; most of us prefer the company of others in favor of solitude and having a tight group often fosters a dynamic of an unspoken rule that you just plan to hang out. Comfort level is also an important consideration. The more one is familiar with another, the easier it becomes to enjoy oneself. A clique can provide a venue where one’s comfort level can be increased and, therefore, a better time can be had.

To go along with why Webster’s states that the term clique is often used negatively, I have some criticisms about cliques. Clique is often synonymous with exclusive, and exclusivity builds walls between people. Also, since cliques allow its members to have a heightened sense of comfort, inside jokes are much more common. Generally, inside jokes are a lot of fun and can strengthen relationships between those who are “in the know.” However, whenever an inside joke is referenced around a person or an entire group that isn’t familiar with the joke, it also builds walls. Inside jokes, when unwisely used, are still fun for those involved, but make everyone else feel uncomfortable or left out. They ultimately have exclusivity written all over them.

I have heard about and been involved with discussions about cliques in the past. As a general rule, change is very difficult and is not desired by most people in this world. Most people prefer to stay in their comfort zone. Not surprisingly, someone who is in a clique prefers to stay in the clique. When this topic comes up in some kind of discussion, whoever is in a clique usually tries to justify why they shouldn’t do anything about their situation. The most common rationalization I’ve heard is that the person and/or the person’s clique invites others to participate; there is some effort made to befriend others or invite others to outings. Such an effort is largely futile. Even when an invitation is extended sincerely, many times the person being invited will not go purely because they don’t think they’ll be comfortable. A wall has been erected around the clique and most people have a hard time getting past that obstacle. Inversely, some people decide not to attend an event because they themselves are in a clique. Perhaps other clique members are out of town, so the comfort level of whomever remains is also out of town.

There is one other point I’d like to bring up, and this item is what keeps me from getting cliquey: the negative impact a clique can have on someone’s spiritual well-being. Suppose that Johnny hasn’t been to church in some time. He’s a nice guy, works hard, but just hasn’t made church a priority in his life. Over time, his parents’ urging for him to go back and the fond memories he had of church when he was younger instill in him the desire to go to attend meetings one Sunday. He hasn’t committed to going back to church every week, but if he has a good experience this Sunday he will certainly consider doing so. Well, Johnny goes to the church meetings, but he doesn’t feel comfortable introducing himself to people, so he keeps to himself.

What could happen next? Other people who are in attendance could introduce themselves to Johnny, sit by him, and get to know him. Or, nothing. The members of the congregation could easily not even notice that Johnny is in the meeting, no one shakes Johnny’s hand or says hi, and Johnny will likely not return. It’s my experience that the latter happens more often than not, and that the number one reason why others don’t seek out those who are new is because they are occupied chatting with the same people they hung out with the day before, often fellow clique goers. If you think that you can’t possibly know who is new and who isn’t, it could be that you are in a clique and haven’t made a solid effort to get to know others through various activities on an ongoing basis.

I’ve identified some of the pros and cons of cliques and interactions that resemble cliques. I’m not trying to point fingers at anyone; I’m merely seeking to broaden your perspective. It’s a constant struggle for me personally not to fall into the comfortable pattern of being in a clique, but when I think of Johnny, I think not of this fictitious character, but rather all the friends I have who have been a Johnny at some point in time. I hope you will join with me not in searching for excuses why not to include and fellowship others, but rather in searching for ways to make others feel welcome.

My quirks

2008-04-30T18:35:00.002-07:00
· I arrange the silverware in the dishwasher by type so that when I unload it I don’t have to sort anything out.
· I use coasters religiously. Even on my computer desk.
· I pay attention to the care instructions on clothing.
· I iron my collared shirts.
· I fold all my laundry.
· I plan. Profusely.
· I’m something of an efficiency freak. I think of the world in terms of bottlenecks way more than is healthy. Props if you know what a bottleneck is.
· If you ever wish to die, just do something to my car. Anything. I dare you.
· I know what a crockpot is, I own a fairly nice one, and I use it pretty much every week.
· I own and use regularly three types of shoe polish, three shoe brushes, two pairs of shoe trees, a shine cloth, and a shoe horn.
· I can’t stand it when the serving spoon gets dropped into what it’s serving.
· I’m a single man, yet I cook. You may think that top ramen is in my repertoire, but alas, I have not eaten top ramen in over a decade. Dishes I’ve made include: Moroccan chicken tagine, coconut chicken curry, gnocchi (from scratch) and three cheese chicken noodle. If that’s not a stereotype buster, I don’t know what is.
· I can’t stand the taste of tap water. Interestingly enough, I’ve been the proud owner of several Brita pitcher filters over the years.
· I really appreciate it when drivers make legal turns. You know, the kind where one turns into the near lane, and doesn’t instantly make a beeline for the far most lane possible.
· My name is Matt, and I’m a cleanaholic.

I’m sure I have other quirks that escaped me when compiling this list. Feel free to add to this list on the comments page. :)

The friendship dilemma

2008-04-26T11:15:00.000-07:00
I consider myself an observant person by nature. I pay attention to details and I have a decent enough memory, and because of these traits I’ve witnessed a very clear pattern over the years: there are substantial barriers for single people of the opposite sex to simply become friends. As a guy, naturally I view this subject with most of my attention focused on what I’ve seen girls do that prevent friendships from forming. However, please don’t infer from my comments below that I think that all girls are bad and all boys are great. That’s just ludicrous, and hopefully I don’t portray myself to be that narrow-minded.

My perception is that the number one reason why many girls miss out on some good opportunities to develop friendships is simply because they are so worried that a guy will ask them out. To many girls, most in fact, I must say the following: don’t flatter yourself honey. Pretentious is a pretty strong word, but it’s fairly applicable here, especially when a friendly hi is viewed as flirting, or a casual conversation interpreted as an interest in going out. Please come down from your figurative castle in the sky and play with the rest of us. Being normal might come as a tragic realization, but that’s the shoe that fits most of us. Prince Charming probably will not gallop up to your castle tower, his golden locks flowing in the warm summer breeze, and sweep you off your feet onto his white stallion. I hate to be the one to break the news to you, but that’s pretty much how it is.

Anyway, back to what prevents people from becoming friends, this whole scared-to-death-of-being-asked-out-like-it’s-the-plague thing. So what if the guy asks you on a date? It’s not the end of the world, is it? It’s not like you asked him. Isn’t a date just a date? It doesn’t mean you’re exclusive, it doesn’t mean you like him, it just means that you have a heart and are willing to get to know the guy in a dating situation. Not a big deal.

If your concern is that you’re worried about being seen with the guy, then you probably have some other issues to work on as well. Honestly, anyone whose opinion matters will recognize that you are on a date because you were asked, not because you hand-picked the fella. In my opinion, if you’re not interested in a second date but one is requested, well, be open and honest. Also know that a lot of guys are quite daft, especially when they have their eyes set on a specific chica, so don’t rely too much on subtle hints – most of the male race is oblivious to subtlety. My hunch says that being open and honest is the hard part (and is often inevitable), the part that girls everywhere seek to avoid. Hence why the friendly hi or the casual conversation can be twisted into something it’s not – some girls are so worried about the potential of having to be open and honest (remember, the hard part) that complete avoidance is the road most traveled.

Another barrier I’ve noticed is the reluctance of some girls to spend less time with their family and more time with their friends and acquaintances. To be offensively blunt: cut the cord! Any guy who is worth his salt values independence in a girl. It’s quite a turn off to think that a girl who is super clingy to her family will likely be super clingy to her husband. No thank you. Please don’t think I’m an advocate of shunning one’s family – no way! For most guys, it’s extremely important for a girl to be family-oriented. I am a strong proponent of balance. It’s just that I’ve seen so many instances where the balance is tilted toward the family so much that other aspects of life are non-existent and opportunities are lost.

A few words for the dudes out there. Guys, please think before you act. Think about whether you really should be pursuing a certain girl – is she out of your league? You can determine this by asking yourself a few additional questions: how does this particular girl rank amongst other girls on the traits you look for? How do you feel you rank amongst other guys on the traits you feel you bring to the table? If there’s a discrepancy there, don’t be too optimistic about how things will pan out. You may want to just move on. If you’re still not sure, ask a friend. Or ask ten friends. Doing so could easily save you time and spare you from potential rejection, but it will also help the girls out there to feel more comfortable around our half of the human race.

I haven’t brought up the good things that I’ve seen, so I’ll end with a positive comment. Props to all the girls who are consistently friendly without being overly concerned about if a guy just wants to be friends or if he wants to try the dating thing. I would like to personally thank you. I’ve met a lot of people myself and have seen this un-friendship pattern enough that I truly do appreciate genuine friendliness. When I notice that a girl is handling a tough situation with a good level of maturity, I have more respect for her. Your efforts do not go unnoticed.
As far as take-away’s are concerned, the single biggest point I’d like to emphasize is this: friendly vibes do not necessarily equal dating vibes. If more people would put aside their worries and fears about what MAY happen, then we would all have a better time.

This Mormon boy's alcohol

2008-04-21T21:49:00.000-07:00

I know people who turn to alcohol when life gets rough. Okay, not too many, I do live in Idaho Falls and I associate mostly with members of the LDS Church. Anyway, the idea is to drink away one’s problems, or so I hear. I think that’s the most clichéd example. Some people use cigarettes and others turn to shopping, eating, cleaning, et cetera to distract themselves from reality.

I discovered a long time ago that music is my alcohol.
I’m passionate about music. Listening to music that is. I don’t have any musical talent whatsoever, so I contribute by partaking. I’m sure that my interest in music is partly due to growing up in Seattle, where a lot of attention is placed on new and original music. I remember when Nirvana first got big in Seattle, then the world. I really get into certain songs – some for their great music and instrumentation, others for their witty or thoughtful lyrics, and others still for their lyrics that relate so well to my own situation. It’s therapeutic for me.

You can only imagine how much I enjoy my iPod. It was easily the best material item my parents ever gave me for Christmas. I’ve been with my black 80GB video classic for over a year now and I use it several hours every day. I recently had a hard wire installed in my car to replace the slightly static-prone FM transmitter I had been using. Then just a few days ago I purchased the black Bose Sounddock Portable. Now I can listen to music while I’m getting ready in the morning, something I haven’t done for quite a long time.

I believe there’s an adage that says something about how great ideas can come while one is in the shower. I appreciate that idea; it’s rung true in my life more times than I can count. I think it boils down to this: as a society, we are so busy and go-go-go all the time that we often neglect the time we should all take to just think, to ponder (and a routine, thoughtless occurence such as taking a shower allows for a form of pondering to take place). I am so very guilty of this.

Having recognized this, then why on earth would I even consider hindering any kind of flow of ideas by listening to music? Firstly, I simply enjoy listening to music. It is what it is. Secondly, well, sometimes I think about things too much. You know, replay them over and over and over again. Who am I kidding, sometimes is an understatement. At times it can be a type of slow, self-inflicted torture. I don’t know about you, but I’m not down with torture. It’s not exactly one my favorite pastimes. So, music comes to the rescue. I can numb the pain of whatever is either tugging at my heart strings or just won’t get out of my head. I can alleviate the torture. Whew.

But it’s all just a band-aid: music serves only as a form of procrastination. The problem is still there, at the back of my mind even. Yes, I can hear you utter “duh.” If you know me at all, you know that I’m a pretty confrontational person; I like to work through things, often tackling them head-on. So why would I follow this pattern of delaying the inevitable, if only in my own mind? What I have found is that another adage, “time heals all wounds,” has a lot of truth to it. In changing the timing of when I actually cope with whatever is on my mind, time lapses and more often than not the situation is easier to deal with. Maybe I find strength from some other source, like a friend or a family member or something I read.

Lately I’ve been thinking more about the amount of numbing I’ve tried to infuse in my life, especially since my Bose acquisition. I’ve resolved that I don’t want to take the easy way out all the time. The last thing I want to do is create a dependence of any kind that could keep me from learning a valuable lesson or two. While music is a reliable form of therapy for me (not to mention a hobby), I don’t want to ignore the principles of learning and coping. I suppose I’ll just keep working toward the seemingly unachievable goal of balance in this.